I know some gods smile upon us; clearly they do. Our current situation obviously is important enough that, while they cannot directly aid us, their help is the only clear explanation for some of the outcomes we’ve seen. As a practical, grounded mind, I am intrigued by this; I am not enough of a fool to ignore the only logical explanation, even though godly intervention is, by definition, illogical.
Some part of me knows that the daemon we faced, the one running that giant machine with those golems in the alcoves of his room, was beyond our power, but I cannot put it into words to describe how our victory happened… I know myself to be intelligent but sometimes it seems that the mind alone cannot comprehend things; indeed, the creature also seemed completely taken aback by our victory, as though he was unable to comprehend our fortune even as we killed him and unmade his victory before he could simply turn the key on it. He was of potent enough power to draw the very liquid from us without effort when we’d only just breached the barriers of his lair, killing our allies but, thankfully, none us in the RoundTable guild (I must remember to note the sacrifices of Kirrahe, Jerkins, and, uh… Vinegar Tom when we get back to the guild headquarters (if we get back, something I keep wondering)).
Still, that was literally all it would have taken; a simple activation of that which would have unmade us, I am sure of it upon examining his machine; we seemed to catch him with his pants down, as though he only needed a moment that was somehow denied him! I am humbled; the knowledge that we are in the middle of a much larger game is not comforting, as I understand how powerless I can be, but at least the fortunes have (thus far) smiled upon us. Sometimes providence throws a bone, and I will not consider it beneath me to bite it and be a part of their plan! I must only remember that sometimes their plan will demand I be ground in the very wheels of fate that I run atop…. still, even then, I will struggle. I struggle with the flow, and I may struggle against the flow.
Wow, am I becoming wiser? It feels like I possess a bit of perspective suddenly, to realize that there is a much larger picture. I’m… kind of excited by that possibility, instead of my normal reaction! This has been a learning experience! Squee! I can’t stop my excited wiggling even as I write!
… I really must take a moment and rest. Thankfully, Axis is restful, in spite of my normally non-relaxed nature.
Also of fortune, I sat and looked at all of the scrolls I was carrying and realized that yes, I did have a solution to the problem of separation from Paracelsus, but it took some abstract thinking; always a strong point. Utilizing a spell I know is normally only for hostile intent (as mother regularly used a variation on it in the past), I was instead able to bring Paracelsus to me as though he were an outsider whom I would be forcing to bend to my will and aid me, but then I simply freed him from the summon circle. It’s hard to describe but I knew what I accomplished was within the parameters of the spell, though outside of the normal uses… it’s wonderful when a solution is available, but normally not expected. I still wonder in which capacity he is with me; is he actually present or is only an aspect of him? He assures me we are together, and I suppose since I cannot myself know as I am not the one affected, I will take his word for it in lieu of being unable to experiment on him to determine whether he is currently a soul, a stand-in projection, a body missing a portion of a soul, or some other combination.
The research I collected scratches at the back of my mind, though. If I wound up looking into it, I may just find some portion of what I was able to accomplish covered within…. or perhaps not. Have I attempted (and succeeded?) what no others have? I find that unlikely; that was a known magic. Paracelsus doesn’t detect as magical or anything but that which I have always known, but arriving at the solution I have through means not normally used fills me with an anxiety that the notes “tell me” they may contain. It’s a feeling thing, not a known thing. Maybe I’m just uncomfortable with the solution working despite my assumptions to the otherwise? Maybe I should just accept it and move on, but it’s in my nature to ask why.
Perhaps time and my own research, aided by this data, will help. Obviously I’m not going to be working with souls on my time, but I may be able to do some work with this data without hitting the dark, evil stuff done to acquire it. Why waste good research, right? I mean, that stupid wizard we met at the start of all this is an example of a fool out of his depth, but I think there’s a common ground I could work from that would satisfy curiosity and morality.
Yes, I do possess a moral compass! haha….
… Oooh, speaking of which, it might even help me solve what’s going on with Tomoe… well, “solve” is a bad word; I don’t actually want it to stop, hehe… it just will be good to comprehend what’s happening so I can prevent her from being under the sway of an evil being (and no, I’m not evil!). I honestly have no idea what is happening, but I can tell it’s not entirely of her own doing; signs do point to outside influence, despite magical detection failing to provide data to back that up. Nobody gains weight that fast. Understanding her issue may help me with mine, too…
… Come on, evil soul research, solve these problems!
… Okay, time for some alcohol, I am clearly way too high-strung to be relaxing, all of this flow-of-consciousness writing and all. I should go find Varro, he always seems to have alcohol close at hand and the situation in perspective. He’s likely seen what I’ve already noted vis-à-vis what just happened and the broader picture we’ve been drawn into, so he probably also has realized just what a boon alcohol will be in the moment.
… He usually seems to feel it’s a boon in any moment.