RoundTable Adventuring

Amarro #6

if it weren’t for the fact that we have kids to rescue i’d be so fucking done with this shithole of a place.. it’s dark, it’s ugly, and full of all manner of incredibly shitty things in the dark.. giant worms, frigging brain draining ghosts and a giant cube of acid?! how the fuck does something like that exist? seriously?

oooh varro gave me a pipe he found! not bad quality either… says it might have been a ratfolk’s pipe… how many people does he kill on a daily basis just because? like whatever he was chasing before the ooze found us.. i’m sure there was something that used to be living in that hallway… well we can deal with varro’s… tendencies later.. i think i’ll go wash this pipe off in the steam room, that should clean it well enough even if it was a zombies pipe…. now if only i had some tabac.

oh dammit, The Kid’s sucking on his thumb again, at least this time he remembered to take off his gauntlet… wonder how long he’s going to be like this?

Chartreux #3

Dear Diaries are stupid;

It’s a good thing i can see in the dark or this would be alot harder… where to begin. We found another halfling, that brings the number up to three. This last one is definativly the fattest, stupidest, and most useless of the three. He’s a bard. A BARD! The most pathetic of all magic users. But I’ll come back to him later.

The day started off less than great when we woke up to find Varro missing. We waited a bit and then said Fuck it and continued on. The search of the first floor didnt yield much other than an animated table to match the cup and chair we found yesterday and a book. Gods damn Leon is stupid. Instead of boosting me up to grab the book, he tried climbing the bookshelf, in his armour. The shelf fell on him and damaged the book. That should come out of his cut. Too bad he rolled out of the way before the shelf hit him. Hahaha but that cieling falling on him made up for it. So Leon chases a kobold into a room and starts tying to kick the door down, the kobold runs out a bolt hole he had runs down the hall way. Leob follows and then we hard – boom, boom, crash. The kolbold dropped a trap on him, the whole ceiling. After healing him I went to the room the kobold was hiding in… the door wasn’ t even locked. Dumbass.

But this dungeon has not been fun. The kobold slaughtering has been easy, most go down in a hit or two. But the rest has sucked. We pushed a Grick into that forge/pit thing, some incoporeal thing that only Leon could hit that sucked most of his brains out, seriously he’s been drooling on himself since we killed it, and a gelatinous cube that we thought was a ghost at first. The cube was actually easy to kill. We heard the sounds of combat in the listening room and ran to investigate. We found that halfling and the girl fighting kobolds, Massacred them, when the ooze came at us from behind. Fortunatly it was slow and couldn’t decide who to attack. This brings me to the hobbit. He and the kids were in the storage room and i yelled at them to get out so the ooze wouldn’t trap them in there, but did they listen? Noooo. Then we put them in the secret room and he was going to guard it OUTSIDE! A great way to get yourself killed and defeat the whole purpose of hiding in a secret room. But fortunatly the look i gave him was enough to make him realize how stupid that was.
I don’t know if we can save the kids. Leon is three quarters brain dead, and Varro is wearing most of his blood on the outside because of those Stirges. So, dear friend, if you find this journal on the dead-sexy dead body of a cat demon I have something to tell you. There is a secret room in the second room beyond the steam room that listens into other rooms. the first room beyond the steam room has the coolest trap ever (that Leon set off for fun and almost killed himself) and avoid the hallway on the right. That room is full of undead that rip your head off.
Why didn’t i think of it sooner? I should’ve yelled in Infernal at those kobolds i heard in that room from the listening chamber to scare them. Oh well i thought up a plan to deal with the king anyway. I just hope i can pull it off and stop Leon from bursting in before it works.

How many kids do we have to save for this to be considered a “good deed” I’m not dieing in this shit hole for them. Maybe if the rest of the party falls I’ll juzt set myself up as the ruler of these kolbolds for a while. After all if i can convince one i can convince the rest.

Amarro #5

I do enjoy the fact that people are unreasonably terrified of the sound of a gun being cocked after they have seen what it can do. it’s just so satisfying…

also, silver bullets might not be enough to put down the kid on the next full moon if he does turn into a werewolf, half a fucking building dropped on him and it barely even slowed him down… now all i can hope for is that he turns out to be someone else’s problem rather than mine.

Good to see that Varro didn’t actually run out on us… hell if i know where he was when we set out this morning. Had some damn good instincts during that fight with the slug thing, doubt we’d still be alive if not for him… gotta thank him properly with some drink or food or a quality hooker when i get the chance.

Leon #5

I swear, it’s like the whole world is against me. The house came crashing down on my head, I was careless. It was bound to happen in a house as old and decrepit as this one. I guess it would be my luck that it didn’t happen to the kobold. Oh well, He faced justice eventually. Now to save some children.


Daily Affirmation
“Irori guide my idle hands to honourable pursuits. May I hone my strikes to the standard of Cheu Chem. May my mind, body and spirit accept the discipline of your teachings.”

Quite the day. I’m still unsure what we plan on doing with these living objects. They maybe expensive to make but who wants a cup that is just as likely to cave your head in as hold wine? Or a chair that might run you off a cliff. I think the big tip off should have been the dead elf in the woods. Judging by the mess of brain material he wasn’t much brighter than the rattle trap paladin that’s lumbering around with us. He’s not a bad guy just not to worldly… or educated. I’m no wizard myself but I’ve made it this far.

Saw that odd Orc fellow the other day. He went chasing after a slip of girl werewolf. I think I should go check on the two of them I mean he’s a decent sorta guy and she’s just a poor cursed little girl be a shame if either of them got hurt. This lot was getting along fine without be before I think they can be without me for a couple of hours…

Damn, these tiny hobbit legs! Had a hard enough time tracking the pair of them even when I was on track the trail kept getting colder and colder. I did, however, find a decent pipe, though. No tobacco with it but it’s the right size. Nothing wrong with it I wonder why it was left behind. Some poor sod couldn’t keep his things stowed properly must have been a gnome or one of those toad-folk. I just hope it wasn’t a man-rat; I’d feel bad giving it to my new friend Amarro. He seems together and trust worthy enough. The cat-lady demon likes her whoring but that’s not something you can build a lasting friendship on. I’ll just give it to him when he wakes… Crap! They left without me…

Amarro #4

Gods Damned nature…. Spiders and Assassin Vines and fucking Bugbears fucking everywhere. I swear to god the next animal of thing that tries to kill me i’m going to put holes in and turn into a fashionable codpiece… things are so much easier in the city; bribe a guardsman to look the other way to steal from a dick of a shop vendor to give to the kid that he kicked out from “his Spot” in the market and then poof! Vanish into the crowd while the moron is still sneering at the poor wretch whose crutch he broke…

i guess i’m not really built for this outdoorsy stuff, but the benefits from these adventures is obvious to even the stupidest of people… i hope that this time i can squirrel a little more away for them…..

Given how that friggin’ creepy ass building on the hill looks, any extra money might need to go to a healer to make the inevitable nightmares stop…

Also… should keep an eye on The Kid… that werewolf took a hell of a nip at him… hope i don’t need to swipe one of those daggers to melt down into bullets… but better to keep the options open… just in case…

Leon #4

I don’t even know where to begin.
Usually whatever my gut tells me is wrong, but today, it was actually right about something. From the second I saw she was evil, I didn’t trust her at all, but I guess knowing she was evil was a benefit and the scars were quite obvious facts that she was a werewolf. Wait, are all werewolves evil? I would assume so but am uncertain.
As for those… animals? We fought, what were they all about? It sounded like common but less so in the way that my comrades and I talk and more in the way that Craig’s pet parrot talked. Their grammar was horrible and I don’t believe they actually understood what they were saying. If they weren’t evil, I would have felt bad killing such unintelligent creatures.
Also, it’s gotten to the point that I’m beginning to wonder whether I’m bright and everyone else is dumb, or I’m dumb and everyone else is bright. I think that’s a dead giveaway that I’ll need to find a different group of adventurers to fit in with.

Carrock's Private Log 1

Setup for Carrock’s joining the party

- Originally written by Oson the Unsound; November 20, 2012, Moved by Bravado from the forum; January 29, 2013

As the surviving party was congratulated for having broken the curse and began to rest after their ordeal, a man in a cloak and a long, strange mask rose from his chair near the fire and approached them. He cleared his throat as he approached their table, their food having just arrived, his notoriously bad sense of timing becoming immediately apparent to any who cared to note it.

???: “Greetings, adventurers. In inquiring in the inn about aid, I’ve heard that you’ve just successfully broken a curse and saved the region from a dire threat, all within the last few hours. I wonder if I could beg your assistance on a task of some level of importance? I promise you that you will be paid for your trouble, probably more than what you received here.”

His talons clicked on the floor and he nervously threaded his fingers before him. He was covered in black feathers as far as one could see, but wore the holy symbol of Pharasma proudly upon the breast of his black cloak, visible under the turned collar. He moved with some sharp twitches occasionally, his feathers ruffling at times along his neck.

He croaked on: "My name is… Carrock Redfeather, and I am an… agent of the goddess Pharasma. I am on a mission investigating claims of a necromancer in a nearby town, and have been seeking some aid in dealing with whatever will be found there. I cannot promise you that I know any more than you do at this point, except that there are further claims of a unique undead creature that may be a servant of said necromancer, or perhaps of a more sinister origin.

“I hope to arrive in Falcon’s Hollow 12 days from now, as I’ve several other things to do in the area and the timing of it is… important. Obviously if you come with me we can spend the time allotted to finding heroes relaxing in the area before making our way, getting to know each other or whatever. I heard you had a companion be taken into the arms of the goddess…”

He looked uncomfortable for a moment, hesitating, then continued: "You could perhaps use that time to grieve, if you feel such a thing necessary. I will be around if you would like to discuss that topic, or any others that you feel necessary.

“What say you?”

=Encoded in a cipher and hidden on his person, the dreadmasque agent calling himself "Carrock"’s private journal details his work, providing a side story for what happened while the party was searching for the missing children from Falcon’s Hollow, and more details on Carrock’s motivations for being there=

1- Barely inaugurated into the order before I’m sent on the road, but I like that. Get to the task. The only thing that troubles me is how vague the task is: a necromancer reported in a town full of people who spit upon justice and law. The head of the local Skete of Black Friars of the Fateful Church branch must have sent the request for an investigation; I don’t blame him for his worry. I just wish I knew more before visiting the accused, it’s impossible to tell what he’s cooked up, how long he’s been at it, or what. I mean, my presence is always an indicator that I’m not going to shake a person’s hand; people know what the dreadmasque is for. I just wonder if perhaps there was a more subtle approach, at least to determine if, necromancy aside, he’s been raising the dead or something. He could have built up an army and was just biding his time for all I know! And wouldn’t that be me in the middle of it, then! These friars and I would be overrun, not to speak of the town… no, I mustn’t let my imagination get the best of me. I have no data, I am there to gather some. I didn’t have sufficient time to do it as I’d have liked to, according to The Lady’s guidance, so I shall work with what I have, keep a low profile, and do my investigations covertly.

I’m told by the Skete’s head (what was his name again…? Duncan something, doesn’t really matter) that there is something happening in the surrounding community, but what it is, they couldn’t guess. I kind of hate that about these “Fateful Church” branchers, order stance of “we all work together” notwithstanding: they keep to themselves too much. I feel that the church should intertwine with the community; to understand the people completely, to guide their passage in and out of the world, and to maintain watch over the graceful dead. They seemed content to only do the latter two, and thus, are out of sorts about the unknown, and the secrets the people hold. Well, no matter. I shall find out what is going on. We’ll see what this “necromancer” is up to.

2- I suppose I forgot to note what led me to this crazy town… I met some so-called heroes in an inn on my way here… timing is everything, as I always say. I was told by The Lady that morning to remain a while, so… remain I did. While reading The Text before the inn’s hearth (and enjoying the time off my feet, to be honest), in stumble these people looking at once both distraught and satisfied, and I overhear them discussing many things; death and fighting and villains of a sort… yes, so this was what The Lady wanted me to wait for. I asked Her for assistance with this investigation that morning; and just in time, here is assistance. I had to make up some kind of lie to get them to come with me, though… these types never work for free, or the satisfaction of putting restless undead in the ground (or the even greater satisfaction of learning about new types and thus helping the order’s reference guides grow), so I figured the promise of coin would entice them. Thinking of that, I need to actually collect some while I’m here… I’m sure I can collect the tithes that the Skete have gathered over time, they’ll understand the importance. If not, I suppose they’ll just be surprised when it goes missing. They do recognize my authority though, I’m sure there’ll be no problem. Anyways, they need me for this task, so I figure it’s fair trade. The church requires money to run; all aspects of it.

3- Yes, I now possess irrefutable proof of the necromancer being thus, after tonight’s harrowing ordeal.

I decided to set a trap for him, as he’d been very coy since I arrived in town; he must have been warned by an accomplice. My timing was poor, as usual, so I decided I’d draw him out with the possibility that I’d leave the very next day, my presence simply a result of me passing through en route to another nearby town. I exited the town by the north road that evening, bidding farewell to the Friars and so forth and urging them on both “vigilance and temperance”, etc etc. I’d given them private instructions to go out into the town that night though, on pretence of aiding with a birth (which actually happened, apparently! In rushed a villager just before I left, asking for assistance… either The Lady knew my lie needed truth, or it was the necromancer’s ploy to draw them away, or the true thing, praise the Lady!), and then circled back around the town in the dark, going off the road a mile out and skulking back to observe the graveyard from a blind I’d set up. Sure enough, at probably exactly the witching hour he appeared (the man has impeccable timing!), sneaking into the boneyard and making for a grave I’d helped dig and perform rites on earlier that day (the timing of such being another part of the plan, as he should have been in the ground the day before), a young man that The Lady decided was needed in Her realm more, and so took him after an accident out felling trees in the forest.

So, the necromancer stole up to the grave and began to dig. He seemed unused to the task… perhaps he had an assistant normally, or something. … No, wait, yes, he does have an assistant, it’s one of those children who’ve gone missing; those adventurers I’d entered the town with went off on that trail… I sense some dark cloud over their task as well; what would capture children? I understand that they’re supposedly tasty or whatever, but many dark rites call for children as well. Some ill will is at hand in this town, and it shall be set right.

… To that note, the morning of my trap I’d asked The Lady for Her guidance in which of Her divine aspects were most appropriate to the day’s tasks, and She’d been hesitant, and gave me two very different options to choose for myself, but nothing more. I was taken aback, as it’s never left with a choice, as She knows best the path I should take, but I believe I understand now: She was saying that I either deal with the necromancer, or work with those heroes on whatever it is they’ve gone out there to deal with. I suppose I didn’t understand at the time, so I went forward with my plan… I trust they know what they’re doing. I also trust that if they need help, She will send someone else in my stead. Her timing is absolute.

Anyways, yes! The necromancer. He gathered the body after quite a while of work, cursing about our work on it and the blessings I’d placed on it… see, he didn’t know that they served to suppress his ability to perform his rites. Sort of counter-magic, I suppose, a little something the masters taught me, to make my job easier. But perhaps he did? Regardless, he dumped the lad’s corpse in a wheelbarrow and started home, so I followed him to his house and watched his actions, drawing my blades for the task that would be required of me.

Suddenly, and this is just too much, the local sheriff is behind me, absolutely quiet. Thank The Lady I don’t shriek when I’m surprised, but I yelped when he grabbed me, and thankfully he’d done so, or I would have been spotted at the window I’d been looking in. The necromancer burst from the residence almost immediately thereafter and spent an hour searching the wood for the source, and the sheriff and I were incredibly pressed to remain unnoticed in that time. After the necromancer was satisfied that it was “just a bird” (haha) and retired back in to continue his (now difficult) ritual, the sheriff explained his presence: the Skete had run into him en route to the requested delivery and the younger among them, Friar Hank Ruge, drew him aside and quietly told him what I was there for, feeling the sheriff was able to be taken into his confidence. So… he came to help me. Just as well, but he was saying the necromancer was not allowed to be killed. I stated that The Lady demanded it, and so did the just universe and all things good and holy. He insisted that he would handle it, and then stood and marched to the door, my protests to the contrary going unheeded.

… Needless to say, he encountered the lad, arisen, and the madman standing behind him, laughing maniacally. Stating that the man was under arrest, he moved inward while I arrived at the doorway. When I saw the creature I immediately jumped into the fray, and the sheriff shouted that he would handle the necromancer, deftly leaping over the creature and making for it’s master. Before it could turn on him though, I threw my wakizashi, embedding it in it’s chest, causing it to turn back toward me. It screamed, and charged, and time itself seemed to stop.

… Well, the resulting fight was one I was mostly prepared for, though the strength of the creature was out of my abilities. The sheriff took about a half-minute subduing the necromancer before rushing to my aid, and in that time it seemed almost impervious to my attacks, being both agile and strong, probably moreso than it was in life. Thankfully my rites and counter-spells were inhibiting it somewhat, so whenever it would be restricted in movement or have a spasm, I would take my strike at the opening, but it still pressed me sorely, even with the sheriff’s eventual aid. Finally, we were able to put it down, and he took the man into town after helping me re-bury the creature, my own rites completed and the necromantic texts and implements confiscated for destruction.

I don’t know what “justice” they will mete upon the man, but I know that The Lady is very clear about what justice necromancers must face. I shall have to look into his trial and sentence with vigilance in the coming days, as I’ve heard about this town’s… peculiar… trials and jury. For now, though, I shall await the return of the Skete here in the quiet dark of the rectory, nursing my many wounds and thanking The Lady for the strength of body and spirit She had granted me this day.

… I hope they return soon.

=Notes on terms used are in the comments=


Damn thats alot of gold. I mean ALOT! I sucks the Timoe died, but she’s no the first petson to die before getting her cut. Thats what you get for trying to be a hero, stupid bitch! You got to keep your head down and survive. Oh well, better her than me.

And fuck that sheriff. He didnt even ask about it. Derr, wasnt there more of you before? Derr! What an asshole.

But it was sooo satisfying to slit that bitches face. Just up amd attacks me in the tavern. GET WHAT YOU DESERVE BITCH.

Man this adventuring racket is profitable, should keep going with this. But where to find a good job… who the fuck is this damn bird looking at me?

Amarro #3

There’s something off about the kid, now that I’ve seen him handle an incident on his own… it’s like he doesn’t care once he’s figured out if he’s fighting someone who…shall we say… disagrees with him. sure the guy pulled out his, burp sorry, dagger first but that’s no reason to damn near slice a guy in half… and the way he looked at me when I told him to heal them up afterwards… might as well have told him i wanted to give him a reach-around in Dwarven for all that he seemed to understand me. You don’t just let a man bleed out in the street because he got angry and pulled a knife in a bar fight. there’s etiquette for how to, belch, deal with that you know?

if he keeps going like this he’s gonna turn into something right nasty, and i don’t think any amount of law or justice on his side is going to help him when he does… lets just hope he can stick with us and hopefully we can prevent him from falling off that cliff. wish Tomoe was still with us, she would have probably set a good example for the kid… hurp, even if she would probably be even more mule-headed about the Law… Heh, who would have thought that an old brigand like me would be whining about how the kids these days don’t seem to understand that doing the Right thing and the Good or Lawful thing can sometimes be two very different things…

as for that Varro guy… well he just sends shivers down my spine, don’t know why cause he’s been nothing but pleasant, but a man you find who is perfectly okay with being covered in blood has obviously spent a lot of time covered in blood… huh? okay fine I’ll shut up now, should put a warning on this green stuff that it makes you talk too muc… Fine! fuck you too…. and another round please…



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